Day the Earth Stank Still

Here is one movie I would pay not to see: a remake of a beloved 1950’s sci-fi flick DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL.

They could have made FOUNDATION or MOON IS A HARSH MISTRESS into a film for the same budget, or CHILDHOOD’S END. If you are going to remake SF films, why not a remake of STARSHIP TROOPERS or WIZARD OF EARTHSEA?

I have been a fan of Michael Renee and Patricia Neal since first I saw the original, which I simply adore. Find fault with me if you will, but I am still terrified by the cheesy special effect of Gort’s visor slowly lifting up, and the glinting acetylene light behind it slowly growing brighter, before guns and tanks (and, presumably, sidewalks and houses and people and trees) get obliterated in a silent glare of unearthly power. I am still awed by the movie soundtrack, which made the theramin the instrument of last resort for all Sci-Fi movie soundtracks.

For some reason, some rightwingers poo-poo the film because they think it preaches disarmament and ‘play nice with the Soviets’. That is not my interpretation of the final message from Klaatu, which was much more like NATO’s message to Iran: if your weapons threaten us, we will destroy you.

Likewise, some leftwingers poo-poo the film because of a religious subtext — the Messenger (named Carpenter) descends from heaven, is shot by the national guard, suffers under Pontus Pilot, is resurrected by a giant robot, delivers the Sermon on Disarmament and ascends into heaven. I have my doubts about the legitimacy of that interpretation.

First, coming back to life from the dead is a favorite past time of science fiction-fantasy characters, starting with John Carter, warlord of Mars. Of A.E. van Vogt characters, Gilbert Gosseyn, Kathleen Layton Gray, the Empress Isher, and Captain Peter Maltby are all resurrected from the dead. Every character from Philip Jose Farmer’s RIVERWORLD and John Varley’s “Eight Worlds” stories are resurrected, some of them multiple times. Gandalf (who is elevated by his rebirth to Gandalf the White), Spock, E.T., Neo, Sparrowhawk of Gont, all make a habit of returning from the land of the dead, and as do countless others, including Superman himself (who is elevated by his rebirth to Superman the Blue). As an interesting aside, note that Klaatu’s resurrection was temporary, a line added by the censors to make the character seem less divine.

Second, Christ figures (like Aslan or Neo) are supposed to die to save other people from evil white witches or evil Matrix agents played by Elrond, or whatever the local Satan-figure might be. I don’t know if being gunned down by a panicky military counts. Just saving yourself with superfuturistic space medicine that you don’t share with Patricia Neal doesn’t count.

Third, if you are going to write a UFO story, you have to have the UFO coming down from the sky and going back up into the sky because UFO aliens come from the sky.

There is a very simple Science Fiction rule about this, first established by H.G. Wells: Martians come from above the sky, Morlocks come from underground. Martians drain blood from humans and inject into their own veins, whereas Morlocks eat human flesh. Got it? Martians – come from above – drink blood. Morlocks – come from below – eat flesh. If it comes from below the sea, all bets are off, as it is probably a Lovecraftian Deep One.

So, I don’t see any very clear religious parallel to DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL, except for maybe that part in the Gospel of St. Butterbattle, where Christ paralyses the electrical systems of the Roman Empire long enough to warn Pontius Pilot not to use the inventions of the pilum and gladius to threaten other planets, or else God will send a giant robot to destroy them. OK. That part was a close parallel. And where Christ suffers the cute little kid to come unto him, so he can give him a space diamond.

By why watch a movie, when you can get an anonymous review from some unknown party over the Internet?

SPOILER WARNINGS AHEAD — (not that I care, because I’d love to spoil this movie. I hope it bombs.)

http://dirtyharrysplace.com/?p=6186

This review is from a guy, (or a giant multi-trunked elephant from Alpha Centuri—on the Internet, onenever knows) named Footfall.

Pure, unadulterated stupidity drips off every page of the script:

Klaatu’s spherical spacecraft is initially projected to slam into Manhattan, vaporizing it. The hastily-assembled dream team of scientists, including Jennifer Connolly’s character, is sent to observe this event… *from helicopters holding positions over the city.*

Klaatu’s arrival is greeted by swarms of the same under-equipped, panicky National Guard types that fought the Cloverfield monster, along with a ton of cranky cops who loudly wonder whose jurisdiction this all falls under. No one appears to be in direct command of any of these forces. When Klaatu toddles out in his terrifying faceless bio-suit (just the thing to wear for an important first contact!) someone shoots him for no particular reason. I guess that’s what Hollywood writers assume military guys would do in a first contact situation – fire indiscriminately, without orders.

Klaatu’s amazing power to control machines, and his vast technological resources, apparently do not include a way to call ahead and announce his arrival, or ask for the leaders of the world to meet with him. He just shows up, scares the crap out of everyone by making it look like his spaceship is a doomsday asteroid, disables the world’s defense systems, walks out dressed in a monster costume, and tries to wordlessly shake Jennifer Connolly’s hand. Then he snorts at humanity for treating him badly.

Klaatu’s stated purpose is to save the Earth from humanity’s polluting ways. He has technology that would allow him to easily dismantle our messy, greenhouse-gas-emitting machinery, or (spoiler alert!) wipe our technology out with a global electromagnetic pulse. He could also hand over clean technology and help us clean up the Earth, as several characters implore him to do. Instead, he solves the problem with genocide. He’s worse than just a totalitarian murderer – he consciously *chooses* to be one, when other options are clearly available.

An early scene establishes that at least one other member of Klaatu’s race has lived on earth for seventy years. This guy signs off on global genocide, then says he actually loves humanity, but can’t make the argument for its survival in a way Klaatu would understand. Later in the movie, a human character makes precisely this argument, in about five minutes flat. Thanks for going to bat for us there, Old Chinese Alien Dude.

Halfway through the movie, the U.S. Military launches a daring, all out attack on the mighty Gort with… two Predator drones. They do this for no particular reason, as Gort was just standing there at the time. When Gort shoots down the Predators, the American military just gives up, with the commanding officer literally throwing up his hands. A liberal’s concepts of military strategy and morale are always hilarious to watch.

Klaatu’s doomsday weapon appears to have been explicitly designed so that he can’t change his mind and stop it after he initiates the genocide sequence. The killer cloud is also quite willing to destroy him. That seems like a bit of a design flaw. The aliens obviously patterned their software design and testing after Microsoft’s.

Besides all the people that must have died during the killer cloud’s rampage (we only see some Army guys and one trucker buy the farm on-screen) the global EMP at the end of the film would have knocked every airplane out of the sky, killed every intensive-care patient on Earth, stopped every pacemaker, and doomed everyone at sea to slow death by starvation, unless they were lucky enough to be on a sailboat. However, the little boy gives Klaatu a smiling send-off, and we’re supposed to feel a Starman-like rush of affection for him. Yeah, thanks for showing us the error of our ways, you murderous S.O.B. At least the aliens from Independence Day spared us the sanctimonious morality lectures.

This movie stank in a cosmic way. I weep to think of all the smart sci-fi novels of the last century that went unfilmed, so a bunch of morons could mutilate a 50s classic and churn out another brain-dead environmentalist harangue.