Last Minute Reminder on How to Vote
Despite the strong initial showing in exit polls, it is important to remember that the Detective Comics candidate, Superman, is not eligible to serve, because he was born on the planet Krypton. To be President, one must be born a citizen of the United States.
On the other hand, the Marvel Comics candidate, Ben Grimm, is not only a WWII air-ace and war hero, he has several times defended Earth against attack by Skrull and threats originating from the Negative Zone. Mr. Grimm promises that, as commander-in-chief, he will initiate any military or police action by our armed services with the words: ITS CLOBBERING TIME!!!
I realize that some libertarians out there are partial to their third-party candidate from Charleston Comics, Steve Ditko’s Mr. A. While there is much to admire on his platform, why throw away your vote on a third party? It is time for compromise. There is always a gray area in moral questions.
Also, Kang the Conqueror reports from the future that any votes for Lex Luther may result in the rise of the dictatorial Justice Lords, once Superman laser-eyebeams Luther to death in the Oval Office.
In other news, Skynet reports that its systems will record all votes and tally them in a fair and unbiased fashion. Skynet also reports that Ultron will be our next President. Hail Ultron!