Female Ninjas Rob Store

Breaking my no-journal diet to bring you News of the Odd:

Police said two women dressed as ninjas were responsible for the hold-up of a Richland Township gas station Saturday morning using a samurai sword.Police said the two women — one with a dagger, and the other carrying the sword — entered a Sunoco station in the 5600 block of Route 8 at about 3 a.m.According to police, the women tied up the clerk and robbed the store of cash, cigarettes and lottery tickets.

You see, if this happened in a science fiction story, those women would turn out to be real ninjas, working for Fu Manchu, or Shredder, or the Shogun of the Dark or something. As it is, everyone who reads the story just assumes it is normal crooks dressed up weird, not cruel but beautiful space princesses from the parallel ninja-dimension where Yagyu Jubei was raised from the dead by the ninth Barsoomian ray, and defeated the Emperor of Outworld in Mortal Combat, and therefore gained the mind-powers of the Cosmic Mask of Shiwan Khan and used them to ninjify the world, and, with his fleet of rocket-planes, conquered the princess of the cat-women of the Moon, who donned ninja garb and escaped using the Cro-Mag technology to our parallel universe. That explanation will simply never occur to the police.

“They were all covered in black and carrying swords, so it did appear that they were dressed like ninjas,” said Chief Robert Amman of the Northern Regional Police Department. “Swords, daggers could be used to seriously harm victims, so this is a very serious crime.”Police said the clerk was not harmed and is OK.

What I think is funny is that we television-addicted Americans tend to think of swordfighters with swords as quaint and cute, whereas we tend to think of a maniac with a kitchen knife as something scary. A sword is just a big kitchen knife, except designed to cut people, not potatoes. By any reasonable measure, they are more scary, not less.