A message from John Scalzi’s daughter to Pluto-Haytah Scott Westerfeld

A reader recently commented on my blog that Pluto is not a planet, but a trans-Neptunian Object. I would reply to this asseveration using calm logic and astronomical fact, but I find it requires less effort and achieves greater results merely to call my opponents ‘Pluto Deniers’ and assert their conclusions are prompted by ‘Pluto Hate’ or, better yet, ‘Plutophobia’.

Coming to my aid is a little girl. This is the lovely daughter of John Scalzi (OLD MAN’S WAR, GHOST BRIGADES, etc.) responding to Scott Westerfeld (RISEN EMPIRE, PRETTIES, etc.) who are both REAL science fiction writers. I think her presentation sums up the pros and cons of the arguments for both sides nicely, and renders a cool and deliberate judgment.

There you have it! So if you think Pluto is not a planet, you will make a little girl cry, and the Great Old Ones will eat your brain. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!!

I trust that this settles the matter.

(P.S.: I also have a plush green stuffed Cthulhu doll in my house. I once saw my toddler son playing with it, and pantomiming an aerial dogfight between Cthulhu and Butterfree, the butterfly Pokemon. The butterfly won the duel. Reducing the Lovecraftian monstrosity to a floppy child’s ragdoll may have diminished his dignity and power somewhat.)