Earth Moving Away from the Sun — an Untruthful Convenience
As a follow-up to the ongoing story published in the last post,
In about 5 billion years, at the current rate, we would still be only 1/200 of the current distance further out, but the rate will probably accelerate as the Sun loses mass through the solar wind – good thing, too, because it’s somewhere around then that the Sun expands into a red giant with a radius larger than the current orbit of the Earth.
Also, the Sun is actually becoming more luminous at a faster pace than we are currently retreating from it; the rate is estimated at a 10% increase per billion years, twenty times faster, actually.
My comment: Sun’s luminosity climbing! When the sun has a fever is no time to pause for thought and debate!
As a concerned and public-spirited science fiction writer, I will volunteer my services. If you elect me world dictator, I can solve the Solar Luminosity growth problem at the same time as the Earth moving away from the Sun problem. Merely five billion years means we have no time to waste! The Earth is in danger!
The solution, of course, is that Earth is DOOMED. Al Gore and I are working on a giant space ark to fly the all the young, nubile and attractive women of earth to planet Metaluna, where we will begin re-population efforts right away. The Cosmic harem quarters are already on the drawing board.
Now, on the one hand, I realize this plan has the drawback that he planet Metaluna does not exist outside the fictional setting of the science fiction movie THIS ISLAND EARTH.
On the other hand, global warming does not exist outside of the fictional setting of science fiction movie AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH, and that did not seem to slow down Al Gore.
On the gripping hand, even if Metaluna does not exist outside the fictional setting of science fiction movie THIS ISLAND EARTH, stocking a giant space ark with the young, nubile and attractive women of earth is still a great way to meet chicks. On the nongripping hand, Al Gore is not exactly a chick magnet, so I am not sure how successful the re-population efforts will be, even so.
Al Gore, superscientist, and me, concerned science fiction writer, asking nubile Earthwoman Faith Dormergue to join us for a swinging time repopulating the human race. She seems nervous about her new role.
Naturally, my interest in nubile Earthwoman Faith Domergue is purely scientific!
Nubile Earthwoman Faith Domergue must do her part to serve Science! She must!
To refuse is treason against science! Al Gore, assume your true form!
(Al Gore is not exactly a Chick Magnet in his true form.)
Or just grab her! Let Nubile Earthwoman Faith Domergue be sent to my Cosmic Harem Chambers! For Science!
We all know that those knuckle-walking ‘Social Conservatives’ who are against human embryo experimentation, abortion, eugenics, forced sterilization of cretins and mongrels, drilling electrodes into the tender brains of little girls, feeding the weak and elderly feet first into the machine to grind them into Soylent Green, and against gathering all the young and nubile earthwomen on a giant space ark and forcing them to dress in Leia’s metal slavegirl bikini are merely against Science.
When will those backward and superstitious yokels realize that anything done in the name of science is automatically a type of progress? Except investigating the link between race and median I.Q scores, of course. Science has no role to play in that research. It is not something that can be discussed. Even the fact that we cannot discuss it cannot be discussed.
Silly, silly Social Conservatives! Stop complaining! Merely have your young and nubile earthwomen shipped to Cape Kennedy for embarkation!
About John C Wright
John C. Wright is a practicing philosopher, a retired attorney, newspaperman, and newspaper editor, and a published author of science fiction. Once a Houyhnhnm, he was expelled from the august ranks of purely rational beings when he fell in love; but retains an honorary title.
