Obama Nationalized Health Care Plan!

In order to simplify matters and deter unnecessary and wasteful medical procedures, from now on, whenever a patient in the Nationalized Institute for Care Expenditures needs a liver transplant, or other expensive procedure, rather than going to a doctor of his own choosing, he merely makes a large donation to the Democratic National Committee, or to the reelection campaign of the well-connected Democrat pol of his choice, and if he selects a winning pol, one with friends and influence in Washington, the patient’s need will be met.

Everyone else will suffer and die in lingering pain from easily treatable ailments while waiting on a purely fictitious waiting list, and so decrease the surplus population on the world.

Under the new plan, blue collar workers, Negros, Jews, Republicans, and Christians will receive the level of care currently enjoyed by the subjects of the People’s Soviet Democratic Republic of Canada, as part of the ongoing ethnic cleansing and eugenics project of our modern Progressives and their plans for a rational, scientifically-managed Wilsonian state: whereas donors to the DNC and their Party apparatchiks will receive a level of care only slightly below what we currently enjoy here in America.

Because the Democrat Party are in tune with the latest and most cutting-edge scientific theories of Eco-Mysticism, one proposal being debated is to allow females (as carriers of the Sacred Female Grail Mystery are called) will be given special privileges on the DNC list for DemoCare (as it will be called) if they sacrifice one of their children to Baphomet, or have an abortion, or engage in ritual temple-prostitution with Bill Clinton glorifying Gaia and the Dark Mother goddess, and perform abominations in the sacred groves of the High Places. This will decrease the production of human life, which has been redefined by the Environmental Protection Agency to be a greenhouse gas.

In order to calm the panicked public and silence the slander of reactionary elements disloyal to the People’s Revolution, the Obama Nationalized Institute for Care Expenditures controlling commissariat, known informally as the Health Care Czar, will consist of public figures whose principles, integrity, honesty, and judiciousness are utterly beyond question: William J Clinton, Richard M Nixon, Warren G. Harding, Tammany Hall, Boss Tweed, G. Gordon Liddy, James Carville, Boss Hogg of Hazard County, Wesley Mouche, Lex Luthor, and His Honor Richard Wilkins, mayor of Sunnydale, also known as Marchosias of the Pit. He is a Great and Mighty Marquis, appearing at first in the Form of a Wolf having Gryphon’s Wings, and a Serpent’s Tail, and Vomiting Fire out of his mouth. But after a time, at the command of the Exorcist he putteth on the Shape of a Man. And he is a strong fighter. He was of the Order of Dominations. He governeth 30 Legions of Spirits. He told his Chief, who was Solomon, that after 1,200 years he had hopes to return unto the Seventh Throne. So there is no reason not to trust great Marchosias, and these other noble and mighty overlords and potentates who will be in control of whether we live or die, or our wives and children and aged parents.

Have an ailing loved one? Mail in your campaign contributions early!