Suckitude that Distorts Time and Space

Courtesy of Pajama’s Media the an excellent summary of the recent political life of the nation: (hat tip to Prestor Scott):

During the second term of the Bush presidency people just got fed up with Republicans. They were idiots, they were no good at the whole fiscal conservatism thing (which is sort of the whole point of them), we had these wars that seemed to be going nowhere, and the economy was beginning to fail. They sucked, and people were sick and tired of them.

Thus people turned to the Democrats. And Obama.

Let’s just say they also sucked.

AMERICANS: “So, the economy is pretty bad and there’s high employment. You think you can do something about that?”

DEMOCRATS AND OBAMA: “We can spend a trillion dollars we don’t have on pork and stuff.”

AMERICANS: “No … that’s not what we want. We’d really like you not to do that.”

DEMOCRATS: “You’re stupid. We’re doing it anyway.”

AMERICANS: “That’s not going to help us get jobs!”

DEMOCRATS: “Sure it will; millions of them … though they may be invisible. You’ll have to trust us they exist. And guess what else we’ll do: We’ll create a giant new government program to take over health care.”

AMERICANS: “That has nothing to do with jobs!”

DEMOCRATS: “We don’t care about that anymore. We really want a giant new health care program. We’re sure you’ll love it.”

AMERICANS: “Don’t pass that bill. You hear me? Absolutely do not pass that bill.”

DEMOCRATS: “Believe me; you’ll love it. It has … well, I don’t know what exactly is in the bill, but we’re sure it’s great.”


DEMOCRATS: “You’re not the boss of me! We’re doing it anyway!”

AMERICANS: “Look what you did! Now the economy is way worse, we’re even deeper in debt, and we have a bunch of new laws we don’t want!”

DEMOCRATS: “You’re racist.”

AMERICANS: “Wha … How is that racist?”

DEMOCRATS: “Now you’re getting violent! Stop being violent and racist, you ignorant hillbillies! And remember to vote Democrat in November.”

So the Democrats sucked. But not just plain old, usual politician sucked, but epic levels of suck where it’s hard to find an analogue in human history that conveys the same level of suckitude. It was sheer incompetence plus arrogance — and those things do not complement each other well. We’re talking sucking that distorts time and space like a black hole.

My comment: If only England had remained sane, we Whigs could have simply apologized, admitted the democratic experiment had failed, and agreed once more to swear fealty to the King. But England is in straits more dire than ours. Perhaps we can appeal to the Emperor in Rome to repeal the Rescript of Honorius, and ask the legions posted to Britain to protect the British colonies, including ours, beneath the fierce Eagles of Rome. Of course, the Imperium is rather a bit of a corrupt failure itself, so maybe we can swear fealty to Cato of Utica, and he will overthrow Caesar and his family, and restore power to the Senate, Republic and People of Rome. Except, come to think of it, that form of government encouraged widespread luxury and corruption among the Senatorial and Patrician families. Hmm. What about recalling Tarquin the Proud, and restoring the older monarchy? Well, no, that whole rape of Lucretia thing pretty much showed what the problem is with unchecked power in the hands of the monarch. Hmm. Perhaps an older generation of monarchs would serve us: we could call back Romulus and Remus, who were kindly and wise leaders, except for that whole embarrassing brother-killing-brother thing, and throwing the corpse into a plowed furrow. We could instead restore Aeneas, or perhaps Priam of Troy, or Saturn who ruled in a Golden Age. Saturn ate his infant children, and so he was in favor of a Titan’s Right to Choose. He’d fit right in to the modern political scheme!

So, no the Experiment in Self-Government and Limited Government, despite what false prophets cry, is not an experiment that fails or that can ever fail, merely because it is the only system of government that has a built in corrective mechanism. The other theories of government that have been tried have failed, because they contain all the same flaws as this one, plus they cannot be overthrown except by arms. Even in failure, democratic republics are peaceful.

No other revolution is needed except for the revolution that takes place every election cycle in the ballot box. Man is fallen, and no government by fallen man and for fallen man will ever be anything to admire: but it can always be improved, usually by a return to first principles, usually by taking seriously the ideals on which the Experiment in Self-Government and Limited Government is based.

So get out and vote. We have a black hole of suckitude to undo.