United Underworld Literary Movement Manifesto
A follow up to a previous post: Well, in the last 24 hours, I’ve had at least fourteen people write me and ask to be members or minions of the Evil League of Evil, Gun Molls and Henchmen, and one guy wanted to be a Evil Janitor of Evil in the Lair.
It seems as if people would rather be Evil than Leftist. Ponder the irony of that for a moment.
At this rate, we can start a new Science Fiction Writer’s guild to compete with SFWA. I have already designed a new heraldic emblem and logo:
Or, if a new guild is too ambitious a dream, at least we can start a new literary movement, one meant to go hand in hand with the Space Princess Movement, which decreed that science fiction was meant to be filled with wonder and adventure and beauty rather than be mundane, that is, be drab and ugly and dull and socialist and self-righteous and whiny.
This new movement shall be one where the writer is allowed to put a message in his story, provided it entertains the reader, and provided he does not sabotage or ignore the story trying to shoehorn a message into it. Story telling comes first in stories.
All stories will be judged on their merit, rather than on the skin color of the author or authoress.
The writers are the servants of the readers, who are their patrons and patronesses. We are not the teachers, not the preachers, and not the parents and certainly not the masters of the readers. We are not social engineers with permission to manipulate the readers, nor subject them to indoctrination nor propaganda disguised as entertainment.
In sum, the three ideas of the so-called reactionary Evil League of Evil are that that Science Fiction stories should be workmanlike, honest, and fun. Stories should serve the reader rather than lecture, sucker-punch, subvert, or hector him. Stories should give the reader what he paid for.
Dear reader, do you understand that these three principles, these three points of simple common sense and common decency, these three principles are what the Leftist ideologues, who untruthfully claim to be fighting for the underdog, untruthfully call evil?
These are the principles our foes reject, and why we (including you, our readers) are subject to shrill yet tedious tongue-lashings by the scolds and shrews of these craven and no-talent know-nothings.
Does that sound like a new literary movement? It is older than Homer.
When the first storyteller of prehistory standing outside the cave in the circle of light shed by that newly-invented dancing sky-flower called fire, and with wide gestures and daring words, while the shadows leaped, astonished the youngsters of the clan with the deeds of the great hunt which happened that day, he used these tools of the trade.
He told of the comedy of a spear thrown butt-first, the tragedy of a man trampled, the drama of the band of hunters aiding each other that the tribe might feast, that the tribe might live! And the youngsters with their eyes wide and mouths hanging round open listened in wonder. They were enchanted.
And then, as twilight deepened into night and the stars looked on, the tale he told turned to the of the eldest grandfathers and great hunters long dead but living again in the constellations, chasing the raging boars and mighty mastodons and swift smilodons whose images were in the zodiac — that unknown and unnamed first storyteller told a tale of stars and eternal things.
He told of the creation of the world, the kindling of the sun and moon, and how the High Spirit placed green trees and blue rivers in the mighty lap of the Earth. And he sang the names of their fathers and forefathers, and how the tribe was blessed in times long gone by the gods, and how these names and great deeds must never be forgotten, but told in turn to their sons and daughters.
That first founder of my guild knew the three things any storyteller who is honest knows: A story is not a lecture nor a sermon; the storyteller puts the story first, not the storyteller; the storyteller serves rather than rules those who hear his tale.