How do you match up?

Mr. Dalton over at entertainment weekly confesses that he is a sciencefictioneer.  http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20034310,00.html
 
Here are some signs that you’re a science fiction nerd, and remember, resistance is futile.
With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, you might be a sci-fi geek if…
—you own not one but two V miniseries on DVD,
Not I! I am proud to be distinguished from that unwashed crowd of science fiction groundlings! Hurrah for me!
— if you understood a single word coming out of the mouth of the old computer-program dude (the Architect, if you want to get technical …and if you want to get technical then you truly are a geek) at the end of The Matrix Reloaded.
 I see I spoke too soon. Disregard last. 

I thought it was pretty clear what the Architect was saying. 

I am geeky enough that in my Buffy/Highlander/Smallville role-playing game, I had Morpheus (Fishburn from THE MATRIX) be one of the three people carrying one of the tokens of the Sandman (Morpheus of the Endless from SANDMAN) — the gem allowed him to see into the dreams of the computers Skynet and Collosus, but his human mind could not control the Endless power, and so he became convinced that the computer dreams of a world ruled by computers was real, and that his waking world was a matrix of illusion. Neo was the chosen one for the same reason Buffy was the chosen one. The Watchers council in that game, who watched the duels of the immortals, was also the watchers council who oversaw the Slayer: and the council had been founded in Enochian prehistory by the Grigori (the Watchers), the leader of which was named Uata. Pretty funny, actually, how neatly various ideas from different sources fit together.   

— You’re undoubtedly a Dorkus Maximus if you have ever substituted terms like ”frak” (Battlestar Galactica) and ”frell” (Farscape) for actual down-to-earth curse words. Your intergalactic potty mouth should be immediately rinsed out with soap, or at the very least rinsed out with something manly like…I don’t know. What do manly people drink, Jack Daniel’s?
Who uses as swearword like Frell? Absurd. I use perfectly ordinary exclamations like, Kull Wahad! Or Noy Jitat! Or Walloping Websnappers! (for those of you keeping track, these are the swearwords heard on Arrakis, Octopon, and Manhattan. Go to the head of the class if you know that Arrakis is a real star Mu Draconis.)
— While we’re discussing beverages, if you have ever put food coloring into your drinks to make them look like the funky space cocktails served at Quark’s bar, then you are most definitely drunk on dorkiness. Actually, come to think of it, if you even know what the hell Quark’s bar is, you qualify.
No, but this may be because I don’t drink. Of course I know what Quark’s bar is, as well as what kind of subatomic particle quarks are. Heck, I even remember the comedy SF show called Quark that starred the Doublemint Twins.
— If you have ever at any point in your life donned Spock ears, proceed immediately to the end of this column. No further testing is required.
No Spock ears for me. Maybe I am normal after all.
— Do you enjoy mercilessly mocking Jar Jar Binks, yet sometimes catch yourself humming the melody from the Ewoks’ celebratory jingle, ”Yub Yub”? It may be time to take a long, hard look in the mirror…after you remove your oversize Wicket W. Warrick costume, that is.
Two for two! Apparently there are geekier SF geeks than I am. Of course, this may be because he is asking about things younger than my ‘golden age’ period.
— Speaking of which, if you have ever carried on a conversation that contained the phrase ”midi-chlorians,” then the Force (of geekdom) is strong with you, my friend.
Carried on a conversation? I wrote a frelling ESSAY in a nonfiction BOOK about midicholorans! Noy Jitat!  http://www.sff.net/people/john-c-wright/Contrib_Star_Wars_on_Trial.htm
— I pray for your soul if you have found yourself in the awkward position of mounting a defense for The Arrival (featuring a goatee-rocking Charlie Sheen) with an argument that goes something along the lines of ”Seriously, it’s not that bad. See, the global-warming thing is not our fault after all. It’s the aliens, man! The aliens!” (Not that I ever did that or anything.)
Never ever heard of this movie (?) tv show (?) so ergo I am an ultra-normal normalistic guy named Norm.  I am a normalific normalizer filled with normalitarianism. If I were a dinosaur, I’d be a Normosaurus. If I were a Transformer, I’d be NormatronPrime. If I were a President, I’d be Normiham Lincoln.
— Enjoy penning fan fiction? Go take a seat next to the Vulcan-ear posse.
Is it considered fan fiction if you get paid for it?  http://www.sff.net/people/john-c-wright/Contrib_Night_Lands.htm I also wrote a book set in the WORLD OF NULL-A by Van Vogt.
      Are you able to decipher each of the following acronyms: TNG, HRG, ESB, BSG, TARDIS, and  (this one’s a toughie) CSM? Congrats, you’re one of us.
Unfair. This is a test of internet savvy, not of SF geekiness. But let me see:
TNG is Star Trek The Next Generation
HRG? That I dunno. HPL is Howard Philips Lovecraft.
ESB? That I dunno. ERB is Edgar Rice Burroughs.
BSG is Battlestar Galactica.
TARDIS is Time And Relative Dimensions in Space—Dr. Who’s vehicle.
CSM? That I dunno. The badguy from TRON was called MCP, Master Control Program. Do I get partial credit for that? And Star War Episode Three, The Revenge of the Sith has the delightful acronym SWET-ROTS.

I think I should get partial credit for knowing LMD stands for Life Model Decoy.  

 

And whenever any military guys mention damage from a Rocket Propelled Grenade, it always takes me a moment to realize they are not talking about damage points in a Role Playing Game.