Sad Puppies 3: The Ensaddening!
Yea, verily, yea, it is that time of year again, dear friends and comrades, when once again the war for the soul of Science Fiction is at hand, or, rather, for those of us lacking hands, at hook.
It is that time when we lay aside our personal differences and take up arms against the foes of common sense, human happiness, and good, clean fun, namely, the Morlocks who are trying to ruin Science Fiction in the same way they have successfully ruined the Oscars.
They want to turn your space yarns and tale of speculative fiction into social commentary on leftwingnut non-issues and Democrat Party talking points. They want to turn your entertaining stories about star fleet captains and space princesses needing rescue into social justice message lectures about ending nonbinary gender.
They want to steal your cake and give you boiled cabbage.
And we here in the Evil Legion of Evil say NAY! We say ‘nay!’ because we talk in a Faux Shakespearean dialog first concocted by Stan Lee for Thor comics. Because that is how we rolleth, forsooth! You may not have my pulp copy of Amazing Whizz Wonderbang Space Stories until you pry it out of my cold, dead, fingers.
Already the slanders against our noble cause have begun, claiming that we here at the Evil Legion of Evil want to cram our rightwing social commentary down your throats rather than their leftwing social commentary. Fooey and phoo and pish-tush, say we. Because we talk weird. The only social commentary we are interested is this: BORING STORIES SUCK.
The social commentary involved in stories where a brawny space-privateer in a torn shirt and broken power-armor is firing a vehicle-mounted automatic weapon one-handed upon an undead but rampaging vampire-lord Tyrannosaurus Rex thundering down the blood-soaked golden streets of primordial Atlantis risen, drenched in seaweed and eldritch lore, to the surface of the unquiet sea due to the evil influence of the Red Demon Star of Gthothmorg during a near-collision with Sol while a buxom yet lithe cavegirl in a leopardskin bikini clings to his manly yet roguish thigh, her flint-napped dirk held calmly in her brave yet slender hand (pause to draw breath) is summed up in the word AWESOMSAUCE. Which, technically speaking, is not a word. Neither is grok a word, or muggle, but I still use them in my everyday speech. Forsooth.
Awesomesauce style story, full of action, thrills and glory
Lame Leftwing Preachy Condescending Sexually Maladjusted Crap style story. Which would YOU rather read?
Interested? You bet you are, because if you try to read even one more nonbinary gender-sensitive noncisnormaltive hackwork or an ad for the latest social justice cause de jour written by a muggle you cannot grok, you will be driven to perform rishathra with a fungi from Yuggoth.
And just remember, not every fungi is a fun guy.
John C Wright’s true form and appearance. All praises to Nyarlathotep!
So! If you’d like to nominate good books, stories, and related works for the Hugos you need to get yourself a supporting membership to Sasquan before the end of January, only five days hence.
https://sasquan.swoc.us/sasquan/reg.php
Supporting memberships are $40.
You can nominate if you have supporting or attending membership to LonCon’14, Sasquan ’15 or MidAmeriCon ’16. Thus, you need not buy a membership to just Sasquan to nominate, but you do in order to vote on the final slate.
Just to repeat that, since it is mildly confusing, at least for people like me, who uses non-words like muggle and rishathra without blushing, not to mention intertialess and robotics. And fungi never blush:
Remember, if you want to join in all the Hugo-nominating fun, you’ll need to register for a supporting membership by 31 January.
It’s $40, but you get two years worth of voting rights, so it’s essentially $20 to play. And if you registered to vote after the nominations last year, don’t forget that you are eligible to nominate this time around, so get your new Hugo voter number and PIN from Sasquan.
You also get free copies of all the nominated books and stories. A very thrifty deal indeed. Last year’s voters got the entire Robert Jordan ‘Wheel of Time’ series, because it was up for the Hugo.
And now for a word from our sponsor and International Lord of Hate, Larry Correia. His heart is too full of sorrow for sadness in puppies to express himself in words, and so he will now communicate in the universal language of interpretive dance. No, no, I am wrong about that. (There is a memory-image that will require the Memory Eraser Helmet to remove from my cortext.) What I meant to say was — He will now communicate in the universal language of cartoons. In color. In English. The universal language of English.
All the words below are his, except where I changed them for no reason:
Also, please watch this very special commercial that prepared last year, which in no way was ripped off of Sarah McLachlan’s sad puppy video.
Last year’s Sad Puppies campaign accomplished it’s goals of raising awareness about Puppy Related Sadness, but the struggle continues…
Now our SP3 spokesmanatee would like to share a few thoughts about why it is so important that you help to combat the scourge of PRS.
Thank you, Wendell. That was so profound I may have shed a single manly tear.
This year we will be expanding the suggested slate to include several other authors, artists, and creators who are usually locked out by the SJW voting block. The men and women of Sad Puppies want to get more fans involved, even if they’re the *wrong* kind of fans. We want people to vote based on what they loved and enjoyed, not on what sends the approved message or checks the right box.
You need to register now in order to be able to participate, but your actual nominations are not due for some time. In the comments feel free to suggest other eligible works that you think we should take a look at.
And please tell your friends. Help spread the word, because only you can stop PRS.
For those just joining us who missed last year’s controversy, here is a recap of what happened when a bunch of barbaric outsiders got nominated: http://monsterhunternation.com/2014/04/24/an-explanation-about-the-hugo-awards-controversy/
Thank you, International Lord of Hate! Long may your loving and thoughtful yet somehow hate-filled words continue.
Now if only we can get the Gamergaters, exasperated Redskins fans, conservatives in Hollywood, and everyone ever falsely accused of rape by a feminist to support us, we could strike back at these whiny yet annoying pests tormenting us, and drive far off the harpies crapping on our feasts, and let them, once stranded on some lonely rock in the midst of an icy sea, gnaw at their loathsome entrails for spite, harming none but themselves in their malice.
UPDATE: Glenn Reynolds at Instapundit has mentioned our brave efforts: http://pjmedia.com/instapundit/201536/
About John C Wright
John C. Wright is a practicing philosopher, a retired attorney, newspaperman, and newspaper editor, and a published author of science fiction. Once a Houyhnhnm, he was expelled from the august ranks of purely rational beings when he fell in love; but retains an honorary title.
