Not Tired of Winning Yet CXXIII

Once again, this is not technically a campaign promise kept by Mr. Trump, but a case where his MAGA spirit has moved among men, and inspired much solemn and tweetworthy covfefe.

Begging for Soy in Antifastan

In Robert Heinlein’s I WILL FEAR NO EVIL, he predicted the absence of police in ‘Abandoned Areas’ where no police went, save in armored cars.

I do not think even so imaginative a writer as he could have predicted the feckless limpwristedness of the Dem chuckleheads who abandoned the area called ‘Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone’ — nor was he funny enough to come up with so silly a name: CHAZ.

And while his books contain some sharp and satirical wit, nothing he, nor any other writer in my youth (with the possible exception of Ron Goulart or Keith Laumer) could have penned the rollicking absurdity of the following:

It seems that Antifastan would like to order out as well. This, from one of the denizens of the new jurisdiction, who goes by the brilliantly unattractive Twitter handle of @anarchomastia (who we are given to believe is a person of, shall we say, exotic tastes in sexual behavior and gender):

The homeles [sic] people we invited took away all the food at the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone.

We need more food to keep the area operation. please if possible bring vegan meat substitutes, fruits, oats, soy products, etc. – anything to help us eat

The above quote is from this article, whose headline nicely sums up the comedy gold of the Fake-News-orchestrated’Great Leap Forward’ toward their New Jerusalem of race-free cop-free freemarket-free and freedom-free Stuptopia.

I draw it to the attention of my fellow conservatives who, as partisans of the tragic view of life, are obligated to regard every news-concocted event with the heavy expression of Eeyore the Donkey from A.A. Milne. Cheer up, fellows! Wait for the Apocalypse and the Second Coming in joyful hope. The fury of the Devil is great, because he knows his time is short.